I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
