the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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