I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
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