If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
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