OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
No more Irish car bombs ever.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
