I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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