Define "chronic" masturbator.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
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