he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.