Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
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All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
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Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?