He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis