anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
