I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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