Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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