Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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