He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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