ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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