The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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