i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
