shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
