Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
