can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
