don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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