i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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