so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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