he wants to bone in the snuggie
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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