How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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