you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
