going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize