? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
