marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm at about main and main street
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I need a beard to bite.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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