Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
