Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Let's get the cat blown out
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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