based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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