: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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