My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
