So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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