Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
