Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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