we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
