I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
