there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
