I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
