All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize