There was a lot of him and a little penis
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
