i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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