just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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