did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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