is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
