She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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