There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just high enough for therapy.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
