She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
