I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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