There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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