If i come over, it means nothing
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
