I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
