I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
