she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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