Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
