I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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