My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
