I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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