...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
