was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
