I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
